when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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