Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
