There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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