It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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