Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
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