YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
