Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
