I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
It's never too late to be topless.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize