between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
