i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
