But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
