I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
