didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
