So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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