Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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