Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
