so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
