I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Randomize