drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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