32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
