What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
i drank out of a bidet.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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