I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
