well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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