were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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