is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
it's great music for shaving your balls
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
