Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
