Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
