Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
