I CAN MOONWALK!
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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