He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Houston, we have a blender
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
