i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize