there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
