you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I enjoy the company of your penis
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
