Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
