went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
