do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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