wanna go halves on a baby?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
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