I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
