i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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