My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
please don't ironically join a cult
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