I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
