I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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