If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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