what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
did you just send me my own nude
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
