we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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