I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Randomize
