i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
