just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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