Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
