RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
