Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
