Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
How does one acquire holy water?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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