we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
