my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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