Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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