Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
