dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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