just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
