did you get engaged???
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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