I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
