you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
