If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
