I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
