found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
