I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
