im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
