Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
